Paul wrote to the Ephesians:
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ...Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear... Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25-32).
Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But I have to confess that I struggle to understand how that works in the “real” world. As one who considers Jesus Christ to be the ideal role model, I wrestle with how his referring to some people he encountered as “white-washed tombs,” and, to their faces calling them “You snakes!” and “hypocrites” fits with Paul’s words. Those labels don’t seem particularly helpful or tenderhearted to me. Evidently those on the receiving end of Jesus’ name calling didn’t appreciate it either. They conspired to kill him.
Since I believe Jesus lived a sinless life, I have to conclude that it is possible to be angry and confrontational without crossing the line into inappropriate slander and maliciousness. The truth can hurt, even when it is spoken in love. Sometimes the best and most loving thing we can do for someone is to get in their face, as Jesus did, and tell them they are full of b.s.
That said; I must remember that I ain’t Jesus. My anger, more often than not, does not take me in the direction of building up the recipient. It usually takes me on the slippery slope toward bitterness, slander and malice--winning at another's expense. Being angry without sinning is a state of being few of us master. That’s why it is essential to put one’s energies into cultivating kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness. I need to work on that.
1 comment:
Jesus also said, "I am the truth." Part of what really ticked them off.
I think we have 2 problems with the truth: speaking it (uncolored by our prejudice, not twisted or manipulated to win our side of the argument), and hearing it (without coloring it by our prejudice, or twisting and manipulating it to win our side of the argument).
Plain, simple truth, spoken in love. And PLEASE show me somebody somewhere who can just say "Yup - I was wrong."
It seems that the value of a statement is often judged not on the truth it contains, but if we like what it says about us, or how it makes us feel. A great example, in my opinion, is how the recent comments of Geraldine Ferraro were received. How can it be wrong to assert the obvious truth that a political machine working toward a goal will use every positive factor available to it's best advantage? What was wrong is: 1). she didn't say it very well. 2). it exposes what we would prefer in polite company to remain unspoken. The race of Barrack Obama and the gender of Hillary Clinton are BOTH factors in this process, like it or not. But it's not a party thing. Can you honestly tell me race was not a factor in the Republican party's attempt to woo Colin Powell several years back? Yet Colin, Barrack and Hillary are all undeniably great people. 3). it uncomfortably points out that we are the kind of people who would be unfairly swayed by these factors, even if we shouldn't be. And we are the kind of people who would use these factors to our advantage, even if our words say "That's deplorable."
Truth is, we ARE deplorable, mean spirited, vindictive, hateful, selfish, and competitive beyond the boundaries of moral decency. As a nation, our history is filled with abuse and violence against those weaker and poorer than ourselves, and our motives and methods are not often the best.
THIS is why we have a problem with the truth. It points it's revealing righteous finger at us, and the only options are repentance or denial. Often, when claiming to speak the truth, we are really just venting our own denial and blaming others. When we react to truth with shame, blame and denial, nothing ever changes.
What we need, really truly need, is to learn to embrace truth, in whatever spiritual, political, social or personal arena we encounter it, from whoever speaks it. And to drop the angry facade of blame and denial, and learn to say these simple words, "I was wrong. Please forgive me."
Now, I ain't Jesus either. And I think you're kinder than me. But Jesus - yeah - I'd hear what He has to say. Sounds like truth to me.
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