Saturday, August 4, my wife, Sally, and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. For me, it will stand out as one of the best days I have ever had. No credit to me though, Sally is the one that made it so special.
A couple of weeks ago she made the odd request that I leave the anniversary planning to her. She communicated a strong resolve to be in charge of the proceedings. We'd had 34 years of experience with my anniversary planning. A change was long overdue. Let's just say that obligatory sentimentality isn't one of my strengths. I readily agreed to give her the day. And let me tell you, she hit the ball out of the park. I'll spare you the details of our trip to the Farmer's Market in the morning, the movie Hairspray in the afternoon, the romantic dinner, and the live jazz at a quaint East Village establishment to cap off the day. They were only infrastructure for the hand holding, laughter, cuddling, conversation, and her gift.
After dinner she reached into her purse and pulled out a ring box. In it was a sparkling re-creation of the wedding ring I first saw when she placed it on my finger 35 years ago in our wedding ceremony. I say "re-creation" because I had not worn the original one since they cut it off my finger in the emergency room after a fall from a ladder left me with a shattered wrist a year ago. I had worn the original ring full time for 34 years during which it had accompanied my hand while landscaping, doing factory work, working on home improvement projects, painting and the like. It showed much wear and tear. The distorted, paint encrusted ring they removed from my finger that day had gone through many hardships, as has our marriage.
I couldn't believe it when she told me that this ring so shiny and new was, in fact, my original ring. She had paid a jeweler to restore it. The old dings, cracks and stains are all gone. It looks brand new. She gave me the ring and read me a poem she had written to "My Love," as she repeatedly referred to me in the poem.
As I put the ring on, I couldn't help but think that just as the special skills of a jeweler can restore a ring, so can a life worn marraige get refurbished with some intentional planning to be together, fun and celebration of each other, and time given to reflective conversation. I went to sleep Saturday night, my hand touching hers, thinking our marriage seems shiny and new today, too. It was a very happy anniversary.
