Paul wrote to the Ephesians:
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ...Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear... Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:25-32).
Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But I have to confess that I struggle to understand how that works in the “real” world. As one who considers Jesus Christ to be the ideal role model, I wrestle with how his referring to some people he encountered as “white-washed tombs,” and, to their faces calling them “You snakes!” and “hypocrites” fits with Paul’s words. Those labels don’t seem particularly helpful or tenderhearted to me. Evidently those on the receiving end of Jesus’ name calling didn’t appreciate it either. They conspired to kill him.
Since I believe Jesus lived a sinless life, I have to conclude that it is possible to be angry and confrontational without crossing the line into inappropriate slander and maliciousness. The truth can hurt, even when it is spoken in love. Sometimes the best and most loving thing we can do for someone is to get in their face, as Jesus did, and tell them they are full of b.s.
That said; I must remember that I ain’t Jesus. My anger, more often than not, does not take me in the direction of building up the recipient. It usually takes me on the slippery slope toward bitterness, slander and malice--winning at another's expense. Being angry without sinning is a state of being few of us master. That’s why it is essential to put one’s energies into cultivating kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness. I need to work on that.
