Saturday, August 4, my wife, Sally, and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. For me, it will stand out as one of the best days I have ever had. No credit to me though, Sally is the one that made it so special.
A couple of weeks ago she made the odd request that I leave the anniversary planning to her. She communicated a strong resolve to be in charge of the proceedings. We'd had 34 years of experience with my anniversary planning. A change was long overdue. Let's just say that obligatory sentimentality isn't one of my strengths. I readily agreed to give her the day. And let me tell you, she hit the ball out of the park. I'll spare you the details of our trip to the Farmer's Market in the morning, the movie Hairspray in the afternoon, the romantic dinner, and the live jazz at a quaint East Village establishment to cap off the day. They were only infrastructure for the hand holding, laughter, cuddling, conversation, and her gift.
After dinner she reached into her purse and pulled out a ring box. In it was a sparkling re-creation of the wedding ring I first saw when she placed it on my finger 35 years ago in our wedding ceremony. I say "re-creation" because I had not worn the original one since they cut it off my finger in the emergency room after a fall from a ladder left me with a shattered wrist a year ago. I had worn the original ring full time for 34 years during which it had accompanied my hand while landscaping, doing factory work, working on home improvement projects, painting and the like. It showed much wear and tear. The distorted, paint encrusted ring they removed from my finger that day had gone through many hardships, as has our marriage.
I couldn't believe it when she told me that this ring so shiny and new was, in fact, my original ring. She had paid a jeweler to restore it. The old dings, cracks and stains are all gone. It looks brand new. She gave me the ring and read me a poem she had written to "My Love," as she repeatedly referred to me in the poem.
As I put the ring on, I couldn't help but think that just as the special skills of a jeweler can restore a ring, so can a life worn marraige get refurbished with some intentional planning to be together, fun and celebration of each other, and time given to reflective conversation. I went to sleep Saturday night, my hand touching hers, thinking our marriage seems shiny and new today, too. It was a very happy anniversary.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY...
There is a maxim of war being tossed around in conversations and strategy sessions these days: “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” It seems that mercenary elements that absolutely hate America and have brutally resisted our presence in Iraq have now begun collaborating with us against al Qaeda. The United States is relying upon the Middle Eastern custom of baksheesh (bribery) to buy favors from these folks who would kill us in a heart beat if given half a chance.
Does anybody remember the events that made the late Saddam Hussein the powerful player he became on the world stage? Back in the days of the Islamic revolution in Iran that brought down the Shah, when American hostages were held for 444 days, and the late Ayatollah Khomeini was ushered to power, the United States armed and invested in Saddam Hussein led Iraq to resist the Iranians in the region. Hussein parlayed this military and monetary largesse into making Iraq a major force. He decided our support earned him a pass so he cruelly gassed the Kurds and the Iranians in defiance of global prohibitions against chemical warfare. He also built a nuclear reactor which would have led to the development of atomic weapons had the Israelis not destroyed it in a brazen air strike. He did it and got away with it because our mindset at the time was the enemy of our enemy is our friend. And had he not tried to expand his power in the region by invading Kuwait in 1991, he may never have been held accountable for his atrocities.
History now clearly shows that the United States was complicit in creating the monster we later felt we had to topple in Iraq. Now, here we go again. We are playing the same game with militias and tribal gangs who are showing a willingness to fight against al Qaeda in exchange for money, arms, and political power. Politicians are trying to tell us that this is a positive development and evidence of the success of our war effort. I say it is sheer madness that only expands the conflict, empowers new monsters we will have to deal with later, and further underscores the evil and futility of this war.
By brute military force, and at great cost of life and limb, we may be able to clamp down on the region hard enough to restrain violence for a time. But, if we foster rivalry and hatred between people because it serves our national interest, we are choosing a despicable course that will only hurt us in the long run. Instead of the selfish and shortsighted policy that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, we should be looking for ways to make friends of everyone in that part of the world and overcome evil with good.
Does anybody remember the events that made the late Saddam Hussein the powerful player he became on the world stage? Back in the days of the Islamic revolution in Iran that brought down the Shah, when American hostages were held for 444 days, and the late Ayatollah Khomeini was ushered to power, the United States armed and invested in Saddam Hussein led Iraq to resist the Iranians in the region. Hussein parlayed this military and monetary largesse into making Iraq a major force. He decided our support earned him a pass so he cruelly gassed the Kurds and the Iranians in defiance of global prohibitions against chemical warfare. He also built a nuclear reactor which would have led to the development of atomic weapons had the Israelis not destroyed it in a brazen air strike. He did it and got away with it because our mindset at the time was the enemy of our enemy is our friend. And had he not tried to expand his power in the region by invading Kuwait in 1991, he may never have been held accountable for his atrocities.
History now clearly shows that the United States was complicit in creating the monster we later felt we had to topple in Iraq. Now, here we go again. We are playing the same game with militias and tribal gangs who are showing a willingness to fight against al Qaeda in exchange for money, arms, and political power. Politicians are trying to tell us that this is a positive development and evidence of the success of our war effort. I say it is sheer madness that only expands the conflict, empowers new monsters we will have to deal with later, and further underscores the evil and futility of this war.
By brute military force, and at great cost of life and limb, we may be able to clamp down on the region hard enough to restrain violence for a time. But, if we foster rivalry and hatred between people because it serves our national interest, we are choosing a despicable course that will only hurt us in the long run. Instead of the selfish and shortsighted policy that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, we should be looking for ways to make friends of everyone in that part of the world and overcome evil with good.
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